不要摸了

一对情侣甜蜜的在公园中依偎着，男的看到女的的头发如此柔顺，便忍不住偷摸了一下，女的娇滴滴的说：“唉呀！讨厌啦!"

男的听了心更痒，于是又偷摸了一下，女的又说：“嗯，不要啦！”

男的一听，心都要飞起来了，又再摸了一下，突然那女的站起来，粗暴的说道：“不要摸了！我的假发都快掉了！！！”


LOL!!

好色的后果

老黄看见蔡老板垂头丧气，问他什么事？

蔡老板说: "我的女秘书在旅馆开套房替我庆祝生日，

到了套房，她叫我在客厅等候，他要在睡房准备一下，

说要给我一个惊喜，但她叫我进去时，我发现公司的同事都在房里替我庆祝生日."

老黄说:那很好啊！

蔡老板说:

"好个屁，老子是脱光衣服才进去的!!!"

LOL!!

The Life Of A Student

LOL!!!

上厕记

一男子入厕，刚把门关上，就听隔壁问：你来了？
他说: "是啊." 可心里想，这隔壁是谁啊？我认识他吗？奇怪！
这时隔壁又问:" 你来干吗啊？?"
他很生气的说: "拉屎啊！来这能干吗?!"
隔壁又问, "那你什么时候走啊?"
他想：这人估计是有神经病！他懊恼的说: "拉完就走!!"
这时隔壁又问: "那一会你来我这里一下吧，好吗?"
此人心里一惊：ＣＡＯ！原来是同性恋！
他大骂道: "你ＴＭＤ去死吧，变态!"
隔壁又说: "恩，先挂了吧，一会再给你打过去，我旁边来了个傻Ｂ！老是跟我接话!!"

LOL!!

原來你很專業

今天驾車去上班想說來加一下油吧...

"先生請問加甚麼油?"

"95"

"請問加多少?"

"我看...就加70吧！！"

結果這服務員...抄起油槍按住！

上面的金額開始跳...

10~20~30~40~50~60~70~75...

看到過了70...傻掉...也來不及制止

我心想...現在服務生素質真他媽的糟！！

然後到了76...就一下一下按按到了78

靠...給我加這個甚麼鬼數字阿！！

服務生油槍拔出來放回原來處....

「先生...謝謝你78元！！」

他的笑容...讓我覺得他在嘲笑我...

我拿了100塊給他...並問他...

"你怎麼這麼有創意，給我加78塊，而不是個整數"

服務員找了22塊給我並跟我說

"因為先生剛剛說就加70吧(8)阿!!"

我錯怪你了....你很專業...

LOL!!

阿嫲的遗产

有一个阿嬤知道自己就快不行了，就把小孙女叫到身边来。。。

阿嬤：乖孙啊。。。阿嬤就快不行了。。。啊嫲临走前有事情要交代你。。。
孙女：阿嫲～你说～什么事情。。呜呜呜呜~~
阿嬤：我要走了，有几样东西要留给你。。我有块蛮大的地，我在那边种了菜，还有养鸡养鸭养牛养羊。。。我算过了，那边至少有几万块吧！
孙女：Har～啊嫲！你几时有地的？还有种菜养鸡？怎么我都不知道的？？那块地在那里啊？块告诉我啊！
啊嫲：那块地。。。就在。。FACEBOOK里面啊！你快去帮我浇水喂食啊！！我已经几天没有去了啊！！！

LOL!!

美女退房过程

饭店里，一个美女正在办退房手续。。

经理：小姐，一共是 RM 4000
美女大惊：什么？这么贵？不可能啊！一定是你们算错了！
经理：没错的小姐，你已经住了20多天，这个价格很合理啊！
美女：不可能！再贵也不会到四千吧！
经理：小姐，我们饭店是属于5星级勒，又有KTV，三温暖，健身房多种设施供您使用，四千的确是很合理啊！
美女：可是我都没去用那些设施啊！你不能算在里面的！
经理：小姐，我们已经提供了这些设施，是你自己没去用嘛！不关我们的事嘛！

于是美女就从钱包里拿出1000块准备付钱。。。

经理：不好意思小姐，是四千不是一千～
美女：我跟你上床难道不用给钱啊！

经理失控了！！

经理：我哪里有跟你上床！你不要冤枉人啊！！！！
美女：我都有提供上床服务嘛！是你自己没有来用！你怎么可以怪我呢？？

LOL!!

花之物語

小寶為了追一位漂亮的美眉，決定展開鮮花攻勢..

我問老闆：一朵玫瑰代表唯一..三朵代表我愛你.. 九朵代表永遠..

那九百九十九朵是什麼意思？？

花店老闆：...這個嘛..." 我家有錢"

LOL!!!

先动手

妻: "你為甚麼打孩子？"

夫: "他明天會拿成績單回來，而我明天正好要出差. "

LOL!!!

近視

正接受兵役身體檢查的年青人對檢驗官說："我近視很深，應該不適合當兵吧!"

檢驗官："放心，我們會派你到最前線，你會看得很清楚。"

LOL!!

The Pirate

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "we were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap!"

"Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

LOL!!

哪一样是你选的

好友乔迁新居，一群朋友前去参观庆贺。大家一面欣赏雅致的装潢，
一面不停地问：“这套音响谁选的？”

“我老婆！”

...“这组沙发谁挑的？”

“我老婆！”

“这幅壁画谁看中的？”

“我老婆！”

一个朋友忍不住问：“这房子里到底有哪一样是你选的？”

只听好友得意地说：“我老婆！”

LOL!!!

思索

妻子对丈夫说：“我发现你只要拿起一本书，一会儿就会闭上眼。”

丈夫平静地回答道：“我那是在思索。”

妻子撇了撇嘴，说：“思索吃什么的吧，口水都流出来了。”

LOL!!

Police Prank

A driver is pulled over by a police man.

Man: Is there a problem Officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see.
Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drink driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the boot if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The man steps out of his vehicle.

Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please.

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

Officer2: Is this your car sir?
Man: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, raped and murdered the owner.

Man: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

LOL!!

跳楼

假如你要跳楼，

如果你想变成肉酱请到十楼，

如果你要痛快一点请到九楼，

如果你还想喘口气请到八楼，

如果你还想挣扎的话请到七楼，

如果你还想留遗言请到六楼，

如果你只是想残废请到五楼，

如果你只想住院请到四楼，

如果你纯粹想吓人请到三楼，

如果你只是感兴趣请到二楼，

如果你想被骂神经病请到一楼，

如果你弹跳力好请到地下室!!!

LOL!!!

比较爱小狗

公园里，一个小男孩指看两条狗说：“爸爸，她们在干啥？”“它们在制造小狗啊！”父亲回答。

那一夜，当双亲在进行“爱的仪式”时，男孩走进卧房里。爸爸，你跟妈妈在干啥？”父亲喘着气说：“我跟你妈妈在制造可爱的小弟弟呀！”

“那么…爸爸…”小男孩说：“你就爬到妈妈后面呀！我比较爱好小狗。”

LOL!!

Dumb and dumber

It's a nasty day, and a guy gets pulled over for speeding.

The cop says, "Isn't it kind of dumb to be driving so fast in this storm?"

The driver says, "Who's dumb? You're the one who's standing out in the rain."

LOL!!

考試

考試的時候，老師特地允許看課本。

但是某生，依然還是把課本藏在桌面下，攤在大腿上抄。

老師看到了，感到不解，特地走過來 .... 關心地對他說：

"您，為什麼，不拿上來抄呢？像現在這樣，不是很累嗎?! "

學生答："可是～，這樣子，我比較習慣呀!"

LOL!!

Santa's Present

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.

The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid said, "Yeah."
Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike." The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticked, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

LOL!!

我的借你

一日上課，老師又再那兒唬了 .....

老師："在我人生的字典裡，沒有 " 失敗 " 這兩個字 .. "

突然，底下傳來羞怯的聲音 ....

學生："老師，我的字典借你 ... "


老師：...... 

LOL!!

你也要嗎

一架飛機上有一對男女坐在一起, (他們並不認識〕
女的開口說要一杯果汁…
男：我也要！我也要！
女：空中小姐，請再給我一些水果，謝謝…
男：我也要！我也要！〔怕吃虧，因為機票很貴，想撈點本〕
後來女的又小小聲的告訴空中小姐一些話，男的根本沒廳到，卻趕緊說：我也要！
空中小姐微笑的說：「先生，你也要衛生棉嗎？

LOL!!

奔跑的故事

在一個樹林裡住小白兔，有一天小白兔跑著跑著

看到了一隻長頸鹿，長頸鹿正在路邊吸大麻.

小白兔說:"長頸鹿啊~長頸鹿你為了啥事要在吸大麻呢？跟我一起在這個大大的太陽下一起奔跑吧！"

長頸鹿聽了很是感動，便掉了大麻跟小白兔一起奔跑

過了一會他們遇到了大象，大象正在樹後吸白粉，小白兔便說了一樣的話

而大象也被牠感動，又答應了一起奔跑，於是他們三個一起在大太陽下奔跑

過沒多久，他們看到了獅子正在打毒品針，小白兔看到了也跟獅子說一樣的話，沒想到獅子便跑了過去狠狠的揍了小白兔一頓

大象和長頸鹿看到了便罵獅子，為什麼要打小白兔？

獅子沒好氣就說："每次牠一吃了搖頭丸就會帶著我像白癡一樣在大太陽下奔跑!"

LOL!!

手机买家与卖家

买家：老板，这个手机的铃声怎么样？
卖家：绝对能响！
买家：掌柜的，这个手机的最大优点是什么？
卖家：可以打电话。
买家：哦！有什么缺点呢？
卖家：不能剃须。

买家：老板，有什么手机最耐用？
卖家：只有相对耐用的，没有绝对耐用的。
买家：为什么？
卖家：你见过谁家有祖传的手机？

买家：老板，有巧克力吗？
卖家：有，德芙的，还有金帝的。
买家：我是说手机！
卖家：哦，经你这么一提醒我才知道我是卖手机的。

买家：老板，那你再给说说怎么分辨原装电池和组装电池。
卖家：你把电池扔到火堆里，原装的爆炸声音更响些。

买家：这么贵的手机，我还不如买个笔记本电脑。

卖家：也对，我想你站在人群中，把笔记本翻开，贴在耳朵边听电话的造型一定很酷。

买家：老板，这个手机大概有多重？
卖家：60多克。
买家：哎！其他都好，我就是嫌太轻了。
卖家：你可以绑在哑铃上使用。

买家：哥哥，你给我说说智能手机和非智能手机有什么区别啊！
卖家：就以闹钟为例，一般的手机到点就闹，闹得醒闹不醒不管，智能手机见闹不醒你，会打电话给你们单位领导请假。

买家：老板，你们卖手机赚钱吗？
卖家：那是相当的赚。
买家：那一个月能赚多少？
卖家：你先买部手机，让我先赚点钱，把昨天的饭钱结了再告诉你。

LOL!!

Math Question

A little boy comes home from school and tells his father, "I got an F in math today."

His father replies, "What happened?"

The boy says, "Well, my teacher asked me, 'What's 3 times 2', and I said 6.'"

The father replies, "Well, that's correct."

The boy says, "I know. Then she asked me, 'What's 2 times 3.'"

The father then replies, "What the f**k is the difference?"

The boys says, "That's what I said!"

LOL!!

蚊子

姑姑在卧室里喷上灭蚊药后，
带侄女出去散步。
路上，侄女不解地问：
"姑姑，你为什么不买二斤的肉桂在家里，让蚊子吃饱，他不就不咬咱们了吗？"

LOL!!

强盗爸爸

有个家庭，爸爸是强盗。
一天，十岁的女儿提着小提琴去上课，打开箱子，发现里面竟然是一把冲锋枪。
老师吓得脸色苍白，问：怎么回事，为什么会有枪？
小女孩他口气说：糟了，爸爸一定是拿我的小提琴去抢银行了！
老师:.......

LOL!!

The Moral Of The Story

Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one.

The following day, Suzy raises her hand first and says, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Next is Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. "The moral is, don't count your chicks before they are hatched."

Billy is last to speak. He says, ''My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a parachute, a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. As he floated down he drank the bottle of whiskey. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade broke on his machete, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands.''
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.

Billy replies, "Don't mess with my Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.''

LOL!!

Why men do not write advice columns

Here's an example of why men do not write advice columns...

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me. The other day I left for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car slowed to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make-up. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to convince me that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make-up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He lost his job six months ago and says he has be en feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila Lusk

*******

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of problems with the engine. Start by making sure there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the clips holding the vacuum hoses onto the intake manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

LOL!!

处女请起立

在一次星期天的布道地上，牧师以谈论“性道德沦丧”为主题而谴责现代人的这方面的堕落，他严肃且激昂地说道：“我希望在座的兄弟姊妹们，不妨切身自我反省自己的罪恶，如果在众女士之间还有处女的话，请站起来让我们大家给予祝福”。

全场鸦雀无声，牧师见状不停地摇头叹气，就在这时候坐在后排的一个手抱婴儿的女人站了起来。

“你不是手中孩子的妈妈？”牧师不解地问。

“是啊！但你总不能让才四个月的女婴自己站起来吧！”

LOL!!

Kopicino

 一对老夫妻,一天买了咖啡
老公：你知道这是什么吗?
老婆：kopi
老公：什么kopi
老婆：不知道
老公大大声讲：kopicino啦，喝酱多次还不知道！

LOL!!

E.T 飞走了

老师 : 26个英文字母中，如果 E，T 飞走了，那还剩几个字母呢？

学生 : 21个！

老师 : 怎么会是21个呢？

学生 : 因为 E.T 是坐 UFO 走的呀！

老师 :  。。。

LOL!!

未来孩子

 一大约8~9岁的男孩对旁边的小女孩说：“谁说不能预测未来，至少我能知道以后我的孩子姓什么，可是你就不同了，你的孩子姓什么还是未知数呢！”

那小女孩毫无思索地大声回了一句：“哼哼，那是！但是，我的孩子肯定是我的孩子，你的孩子就未必了哟！

LOL!!

Insulting his mom

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town."

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders off and stands at the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points to the same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was swe-e-et!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk wanders off.

Ten minutes later he comes back and announces, "Your mom even let me..."

Finally the guy interrupts: "Go home, Dad - you're drunk!"

LOL!!

药效24小时

阿公在医院取药，护士小姐说：药效24小时。

阿公后回家一直笑。。。。

孙子问：阿公，你怎么一直笑啊？

阿公答：护士小姐说要笑24小时耶。

LOL!!

Gender roles

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"

LOL!!

Sherlock goes camping

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were out camping one night. After pitching the tent and rolling out the sleeping bags, they decide to turn in. In the middle of the night, Holmes violently shakes Watson awake. "Watson," he says, "look at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see the stars." replies Watson.

"Yes, and what does that tell you?"

Watson takes a big breath "Astronomically speaking, it means that we are insignificant among the spectrum of the universe, phycologically speaking that we are only creating a dent in the infinant mystery of life, and theologically speaking that God rules all things. How about you, sir?"

"What it tells me," he says, "is that someone has stolen our tent."

LOL!!

做女人的滋味

一架客机正在飞行中，忽然被一小股气流冲击，乘客们慌做一堆，以为世界末日即将来临，一位年轻漂亮的姑娘站起身来，鼓足勇 气向大家说：“各位男性乘客，你们谁能在我去世之前让我尝试一下做女人的滋味？”话音刚落，他后座的一位男士站起来说：“我来！”说罢小伙子把T— shirt脱下来，露出硬朗的肌肉，年轻的姑娘害羞而讴歌的看着这位漂亮的男士，想象着他的下一步举动，只见那个小伙子把T—shirt扔给姑娘，命令似 的说：

“熨了它！”

LOL!!

好消息、坏消息

医生说：看过你的测试后，有好消息、也有坏消息！你想先听哪一个？

病人：先说坏消息吧！

医生：我发现你有潜在的同性恋倾向！而且难以根治！

病人：我的天啊！那好消息呢？

医生：说心里话，我发现你还蛮可爱的哦！

LOL!!

Google Map Failed

Open google maps, and get directions. Point A - China, Point B - Taiwan. See Point 48.

 LOL!!

Relationship World

 

LOL!!

老翁

一老翁散步后返回家，突然发现一漂亮的女贼正在他家行窃。
老翁拿起电话机就要报警，女贼央求道，求求你千万别报警，你怎样都行。
老头想反正送上门的，不玩儿白不玩儿。好，脱衣服上床。

老翁费了半天的工夫就是不行，于是起身说:”哎！不行了，还是报警吧！”

LOL!!

The Best Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

LOL!!!

Proof

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog.

When she got to the counter to pay, the cashier said she needed proof that the old lady had a dog because some old people have been known to just eat the animal food themselves. So she went home got her puppy, bought it to the store and purchased the dog food.

One week later, she went to get some cat food. Once again the cashier needed proof that the old lady had a cat. So she went home, got her cat, came back and purchased the cat food.

Two weeks later, the old lady walked in the same market to buy something . She held a bag in front of the cashier and told him to put his fingers in the bag and then smell them. When the cashier did, he said, "It smells like poop!"

The old lady replied, "Can I buy some toilet paper now?"

LOL!!

不用戴

妻子在厨房里忙着准备早餐，丈夫在她的屁股上拍了一下，说，“你要是能把这搞硬，就不用穿弹力裤了。”妻子强忍着，没搭理他。

第二天，他又在妻子的乳X上抓了一把，说：“你要是能把这搞硬，就不用戴乳罩了。”妻子不耐烦了，在他裤裆里拍了一下，说：“你要是能把这搞硬，就不用戴绿帽了。”

LOL!!

Unholy Things

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?"

The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours."

So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"

The next day they went to the mother one at a time.

The mother said to the first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?"

The nun replied, "I stole a kid's bike."

The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water."

When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.

The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"

The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!"

The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water."

The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?"

The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"

LOL!!

肚子大的原因

四岁小女孩玛莉一天兴高采烈的对妈妈说：
“妈妈，妈妈，我知道了！”
‘知道什么？’
“爸爸的肚子为什么那么大了！”
‘哦，为什么？’
“因为今天早上我看到女佣茱莉拼命吹着爸爸肚子下面的管子。”

LOL!!

船上的木桶

有一新的水手上船，發現船上的人清一色是男生。
當然啦! 凡是正常男人都會有需要的啦! 可是B船上又不方便。這時這位菜鳥發現有一個木桶蠻奇特的 凡是有「需要」的人 就在木桶邊的洞「咿咿啊啊」幾聲就搞定了。

於是這位菜鳥先生就去找船長了。

「請問船長,我什麼時候可以用木桶?」菜鳥問。

「每天都可以用, 唯有星期日不行!」船長答。

「why?」菜鳥再問。

「因為星期天就輪到你去蹲在裡面了.....」

LOL!!